Category Archives: worship

Day 39: My Hiding Place

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After last night’s song, I was inspired to talk about the following verse for tomorrow’s “Coffee with Brenna” (it posts at 6 AM on Fridays):

“You are my hiding place;

you will protect me from trouble

 and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7

In reading a commentary, I found I love what it says in the KJV: “thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance.”

The famous song goes on to say, “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.”

This is why choosing to trust is in my daily checklist. God is so faithful to us. Even when we don’t understand, even when we are terrified, God protects us from trouble. And as if that wasn’t enough, He then goes on to surround me with songs of victory and deliverance.

Thank You, Jesus, for being so present in this journey. I’ve done it imperfectly, but You have remained steadfast the whole time. May I continue to choose You above all else in days to come.

Bible Reading: 2 Corinthians 8
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 38: How I Want to Know You More

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Rough day – not in terms of breaking up with food but a friend losing her adult son to COVID-19.

This song has been on my heart for a few days and it seems especially appropriate today.

Hide me in the shelter of Your love
Deep in the center of Your heart, my Lord
How I want to know You more
And keep me in the shadow of Your wings
Safe in the secret place of holiness
How I need You more and more

Bible Reading: 2 Corinthians 6-7
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 17: You’re After My Heart

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Deep breaths.

Today is my dad’s birthday. In case you’re new to my blog, my dad graduated to heaven November 9, 2012. He was only 64 at the time. He’d be 72 if he were still here.

I am about to speak frankly. My mom is an alcoholic and just struggles a lot with life. I love my mother dearly and don’t wish I had a different mom. But due to her behavior, the way she talks to me and her disease, we do not have a relationship. We can’t have much of a relationship. If I let you listen to some of the things she’s said to me, you would be horrified (she leaves voicemails for me while drinking).

That makes the absence of my dad all the more difficult.

I started the day with a nice walk and some worship, a work meeting, some healthy food, some worship time, some Bible reading, some deep thoughts. I even worked on a song I’m writing.

What happened after that? It’s not really worth recounting.

I wish my emotions weren’t tossed to and fro so easily. This is another reason I eat. I’m gathering quite a long list of reasons! But when my eating is out of control, that’s my focus. I fixate on that as a source of many problems.

I’m tired of talking today. So I’m going to share a song with you that’s been hitting me so deeply, especially with all the talk about the heart.

This is just the chorus of this song by Rita Springer. It’s called “Landslide.”

You’re after my heart and You’re gonna win it
You’re after my heart and I’m gonna give it
And every piece, and every part
You’re after it all, oh, You’re after my heart

Bible Reading: Romans 10-11
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Trying

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Today I woke up to a flying ant infestation in my office. More on this in a second!

In reading through old journals, I can across this chorus I wrote a LONG time ago. I sang this during my worship time the other day.

Forever, I will praise
Through joy & hurt, I’ll praise
Through pain & peace, I’ll praise
No matter what, I’ll praise You anyways!

I remember the Corrie ten Boom story where her sister was thanking God for the fleas in their sleeping area at the concentration camp. Corrie could not bring herself to do so – until she found out the fleas were the reason the guards stayed out of their barracks. This enabled them to have Bible studies and prayer times freely, and if I remember the story correctly, the Bible they hid was never discovered.

I don’t have quite the miracle story! But I am looking on the bright side. I am a fairly messy person, and because of these flying ants, I’ve had to pack everything on my desks up, move my desks, vacuum and organize. I haven’t gotten too far because I had to work all day, but I will!

I have a lot more I wanted to say, but today is one of those days where I have wrestled to check off the list below – which makes it all the more important to do so! I work every Saturday right now 6:30-11 (yes, AM!). Then today I cleaned for about 75 minutes, had a quick lunch, and snuck in some reading before a 2 ½ hour meeting. I got dinner in the oven, had a snack, and then tried to finish the list below while breaking up kids’ fighting and continuing to make dinner. Still calling today a “win” with more to share in the future.

Bible Reading: 2 Peter 1-3
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 5: Breaking Up with Food

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Hey! I got through day 5! Well, I’m still awake, so not quite yet 🙂

Today, I’m a little tired and a bit overwhelmed – not sure by what. I am helping out with a tragedy in an old friend’s family, organizing to meet some needs. I’m glad to help, but it’s been a bit more time-consuming than I anticipated.

I do thrive a bit on routine, especially in the morning. I did not get out for a walk first thing. My family needed me, so that also means I didn’t read the Bible right away. As I’m typing this, I haven’t even worshipped or prayed through my prayer cards, and it’s 5 PM! So I probably should have done these things before I put so much time into the other situation. Thankfully, I don’t need to do much more concerning that for a few days.

Also, another situation I hoped would turn around isn’t. That’s bothering me.

I stopped writing to worship and pray. When I worship in song, I usually just grab the guitar and see what comes out. I meandered to this song:

I will not forget You are my God, my King
With a thankful heart I bring my offering
And my sacrifice is not what You can give
But what I alone can give to you

A grateful heart I give, A thankful prayer I pray,
A wild dance I dance before you
A loud song I sing, A huge bell I ring,
A life of praise I live before You

“I Will Not Forget You” by 100 Portraits

It’s a beautiful song. If you haven’t heard it before, have a listen. Can you guess which line is my favorite?

I need to remember God in all that I do. He has done so much.

I had a long passage of scripture I copied into my journal today. I’ll just link to it here if you want to read.

Bible Reading: 1 Peter 2-5
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Think or Trust? Coffee with Brenna

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This post contains affiliate links. Read more about it here.

Are you part of the club “Overthinkers Anonymous”? Then you’re in good company! David was in the club, too. And so was I! Listen today to find out how I found freedom from overthinking.

Scriptures Mentioned 
Psalm 13

Books Mentioned
Quest Bible

Learning to Walk in Freedom: 
Kindle
Paperback

Monday Morning Meditation: Waiting Well

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At the time this is published, I will be 1 day shy of 39 weeks pregnant.

I wish I could say that pregnancy has been all roses and silver-lined clouds, but it hasn’t. It’s been 9 months of waiting and dreaming and at times dreading what is to come.

After 2 difficult births including a c-section, after walking with friends who have experienced babies born still, after losing one of my children to miscarriage, I know all the possibilities of what could happen over the course of these long months.

Baby Girl at the mid-pregnancy ultrasound

Even now, with a child still in my womb as I type this, I know that the next few days and weeks and months of this child’s life are in many ways out of my control. I don’t know how the birth will go. I don’t know if this child will have severe food sensitivities like her oldest brother, and how that might impact what and how we both eat. I can only pray she’ll be healthy and that things will go smoothly.

But there are no guarantees.

All the fears and doubts I’ve wrestled with during this time have brought me to the question:

How do I wait well?

What does that look like?

I can tell you what it doesn’t look like because I’ve been doing a lot of that. Moving 500 miles 6 months into the pregnancy likely didn’t help! Waiting well does not look like worrying and doubting and giving in to fear. It doesn’t look like allowing your imagination to run wild with all the things that could happen and focusing on those things. It doesn’t mean giving in to the depression and anxiety that at times comes so naturally.

Yesterday, as I didn’t wait well, these verses came to mind.

“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.”

Psalm 130:5-6 (NIV)

What are we waiting for, anyway? In any period of waiting, while we might be waiting for something specific to happen (like the birth of a child), what we are really waiting on is The Lord.

One way we wait well, as demonstrated by the psalmist, is by putting our hope in His Word.

I realized upon reflection that I had been putting my hope in things turning out a certain way, and not only is that not beneficial, that clearly wasn’t working for me! I was reminded that the only real secure hope I have is God, and one way to rejuvenate that hope within me was to reflect on His Word.

I knew I need to fill myself with His truth, and I chose to do that through worship. You may put your hope in His Word by reading the Bible or listening to it, listening to sermons, or reading a Christian book. I pulled out my guitar and started to sing.

You are my hiding place
You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You

I will trust in You
Let the weak say I am strong
In the strength of the Lord

This oldie but goodie has carried me through many a challenging time, and I went on from there, singing songs as they came to mind.

How can you fill yourself with truth today? In your present circumstances, what would it mean to hope in God’s Word?

“Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.”

Psalm 130:7

Worshipful Wednesday: Can’t Get Enough of You

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For much of my life, I was paralyzed by fear. Fear of failure. Fear of loss. Fear of the walls that I’d so carefully constructed falling down around me.

Fear of trusting God and having Him disappoint me, too.

Though I had worked through some of this, I carried much of this fear into my marriage. I would at times ask my husband not to go out without me, such as an occassion where he was going to hear music with friends. I was totally gripped by a fear that something would happen to him while he was gone. This, thankfully, happened very infrequently, but when it did, it was as real and oppressive as anything I could remember experiencing.

In 2004, my husband and I were involved in an amazing church plant. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It really felt like this was how the church was supposed to be: real, welcoming, warm, convicting – just full of Jesus. I was the worship leader, and personally, I felt as if I was finally walking in the fullness of my calling: to use my songs to glorify God and to lead people to Him. I signed up to attend a local worship conference with Andy Park, Rita Springer, and some other well-known leaders.

Just weeks before I was scheduled to attend this conference, the church plant closed when the pastor chose sinful behavior (a sin that he had struggled with for years but had had several years of victory over) above his calling.

I went forward with my plan to attend the conference, though I had no idea why. It felt as if all my dreams had come crashing down, once again.

The conference was amazing, but on the morning of the last day, that dark voice began to beckon: You need to leave. Something awful is going to happen. You need to go home NOW or something will happen to Roy.

I called Roy, sobbing in my car, telling him I needed to come home RIGHT NOW. It didn’t matter that there were only a few hours left in the conference (something Roy pointed out). I replied, “Right! There’s only a few hours left! I might as well just leave, so nothing horrible happens! It won’t hurt to miss a few hours!”

Thank God for my patient husband. He talked me down, and we hung up. And as I remember the story, I sat in my car, crying out to God, weeping, so desperate for Him to show up.

And at that moment, this song, Can’t Get Enough of You, flowed out of me. It begins:

I come to You in desperation

On our last Sunday at our beloved church in Virginia, I was asked to lead worship, as our regular worship leader was out of town. I lead the congregation in this song, Can’t Get Enough of You, for many reasons. For one, I have lead worship numerous times at the church, and it is a team and a congregational favorite. And I sang it for myself because of the special place it holds in my heart: in times of desperation, in places where I am stepping out in faith, the song reminds me of God’s faithfulness. I needed to be continually reminded, is times of ease and trials, of Jesus’ words: Apart from Me, you can do nothing.

My husband captured this video on his iPhone. The lyrics are below, as well as a link to the chords.

Can’t Get Enough of You
By Brenna Kate

I come to You in desperation
I wait for You with expectation

I wouldn’t want to take even one single breath without You
I don’t want to make even one little step without You

Without Your touch, without Your breath, My life is meaningless
I need Your power, I need Your love, I just can’t get enough

I just can’t get enough of You, more of You
Lord, You’re the one thing I desire
I can’t get enough of You, more of You
I need Your passion and Your fire

God, take me in Your arms and fill me with Your love
My heart wants more and more, I just can’t get enough

© 2005 Unveiled Faces Music

Here’s the chord sheet: Can’t Get Enough of You in C#m. I wrote the song in B minor, but it seems to be easier for the congregation to sing in C#m.

I also want to mention that this was the last time I had one of those dark episodes. God is able.

Worshipful Wednesday: Breathing the Breath

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I’ve always found breathing a very spiritually-centering activity. Not in some sort of new age, emptying one’s self sense. But in a way that reminds me of who gave me breath in the first place.

When fear, doubt or anxiety threaten to overwhelm me, having a seat and taking a few deep breathes reminds me that the same God who breathed His very breath into me to give me life can handle whatever concerns I am facing today.

Several days ago, I read the following about prayer in Oswald Chambers’ devotional My Utmost for His Highest:

We think rightly or wrongly about prayer according to the conception we have in our minds about prayer. If we think of prayer as breath in our lungs and blood from our hearts, we think rightly. The blood flows ceaselessly, and breathing continues ceaselessly; we are not conscious of it, but it is always going on.

You can read the rest of the day’s devotional here.

That’s how I’ve begun to think about prayer. As a mom of young kids who works outside the home, I began to be frustrated concerning my prayer life. No matter what I did, I seemed to lack a set-aside chunk of time to devote to prayer. I needed to think outside the box and get creative. I’ve learned to make prayer more of an all-day activity.

Sometimes, I just say the name of Jesus as I go about my day. I’ve even been known to say, “Holy, holy, holy” under my breath – though I realized it wasn’t really “under my breath” when my then 5 year-old started to do the same one day in a store! I realized that prayer is simply a recognition of Who is in control, a day-long conversation with the God who is able.

Today, I’m sharing a song entitled “Breathing the Breath.” It’s a Matt Redman song.  This song has become especially meaningful to me since losing an uncle to complications related to COPD, a condition which makes breathing difficult and for which there is no cure. The song recognizes that much of life is a “giving back” to the God who gave us everything in the first place, even in the very breath we breathe.

Here are a few of the lyrics:

We have nothing to give that didn’t first come from Your hands
We have nothing to offer You which You did not provide
Every good, perfect gift comes from Your kind and gracious heart
And all we do is give back to You what always has been Yours

Lord, we’re breathing the breath that You gave us to breathe
To worship You, to worship You
And we’re singing these songs with the very same breath
To worship You, to worship You

You can listen to the whole song on YouTube.

 

Worshipful Wednesday: You’re My Everything

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For a while, I’ve wanted to use this blog to share some of my songs, for your use and encouragement.

A friend and I were chatting back and forth last week, and she sent me this verse as encouragement, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

I thought, “Hey, I wrote a song with that verse in it!” And decided to make a recording of it.

Most of the songs I share will be recorded on an iPhone, so they won’t be studio quality. But you can download them for free, and I’ll include the song sheets if you would like to play them.

The PDF:

You’re My Everything

If you look at the chords, they appear way more complicated than they actually are. That is the summary of the notes being played for times I played with other instruments.

So let me explain in my best guitar-ese, remembering that I am not a trained guitar player.

Despite the complicated-sounding chord names, “You’re My Everything” consists of the same 2 chords, repeated over & over. Here’s what they look like on the guitar neck:

 

IMG_8279

You’ll notice I have my fingers on the two middle strings (D & G) on the same fret, and then I move up one fret in the same position. The first chord is the 6th fret, and the 2nd chord is the 7th fret.

Enjoy!