Have you struggled to feel God’s presence, especially during this challenging time? Did you once have strong feelings of love toward Him, only to have them wane?

Then today’s video is for you!

Revelation 2:2-7

First, remember.
Second, repent.
Third, return.

For me, first deeds:
Bible reading
Scripture memorization
Christian fellowship – lots of it – what should this look like now?
Healing – counseling, conferences, books, resources
Willingness to be open to different things
Worship ie singing – privately and corporately
Songwriting (the original song I mentioned)
Prayer

2 Chronicles 35:3
Revelation 8:4
Psalm 22:3

My Instagram

Saturdays are hard. I work very early in the morning (6 AM arrival) and don’t feel as if getting up an extra 30 minutes earlier will be beneficial. After work, I grocery shop, come home, have lunch and then I’m exhausted! So getting my Bible reading, etc. in is difficult.

I switched my material for daily reading today. I had been reading the book called “Sugar Fast.” Even though I am not fasting from sugar, I found it extremely helpful and relevant. Since it’s been 40 days, the book is finished! I’ve moved on to the classic, “My Utmost for His Highest.”

From today’s reading in 2 Corinthians 11:1-3

“I hope you will be patient with me as I keep on talking like a fool. Do bear with me and let me say what is on my heart.I am anxious for you with the deep concern of God himself—anxious that your love should be for Christ alone, just as a pure maiden saves her love for one man only, for the one who will be her husband. But I am frightened, fearing that in some way you will be led away from your pure and simple devotion to our Lord, just as Eve was deceived by Satan in the Garden of Eden.”

The middle of this passage especially struck me. I want my love for Christ, my longing for Him alone, my heart’s devotion for my Savior to be as pure as a virgin waiting for her husband on her wedding night. As Leeland sang, “He’s coming for a pure bride.” Eve was deceived not only by Satan but by the beauty of the fruit itself.

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.” Genesis 3:6

Ugh, I don’t want to be swept up in the beauty and allure of food calling my name. I want to swept up in awe for my Savior who gave His everything for me, who spared no expense, who held nothing back.

Oh, my beautiful Lord Jesus, food calls my name loudly and often. It’s almost impossible to hear Your still small voice. Tune my heart to listen, Lord. I turn my eyes to You. You will win my heart.

Bible Reading: 2 Corinthians 11
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

I was not very focused last week. I checked all the things off the list, but my heart wasn’t really in it. And as a result, I ate more than I should.

The sermon at church yesterday was called “Engage God’s Slow Growth.” I’ve definitely felt the weight of that in these 5 weeks of breaking up with food. Some days it seems easier to stay on track. Some days are a big struggle.

I am viewing this as a journey, not a destination. As a process of being pruned and refined, or stumbling and falling at times, but then getting up and following through with this commitment I made.

I read in 1 Corinthians 15 on Saturday that future victory is sure, so we should “be strong and steady, always abounding in the Lord’s work” (v. 58).

Lord, help me to continue to trudge forward, to choose You, to cling to You and abound in whatever work You have for me.

Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians 16, 2 Corinthians 1 (Sunday), 2 Corinthians 2-3 (Monday)
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Today stunk.

I am flooded, positively drowning, in disappointment.

Is it OK for me to say that?

I should be excited – THRILLED – to have finished a full month of breaking up with food.

I should be on my knees, praising God!

Instead, I find myself angry, wondering how God could allow certain things to happen.

This is why I eat. I HATE these feelings. I don’t want to have them. I don’t want to think about situations I can’t change nor can I remove myself from them. I want to eat and eat and stuff them down so I don’t have to feel them or think about them.

I want to eat everything.

No matter what I eat, I will track it. But right now, I hate today.

Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians 12
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check