Category Archives: trust

Freedom Friday: Fourteen Years

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It’s January 4th.

I saw the date several times today. I even wrote it on something and thought, That sounds important. 

I then took my littlest out with me to run errands. I just put a couple of CD’s in my car 2 days ago, the only 2 I could find (still nowhere near unpacked): Keith Green and Sara Groves.

Soon it came on:

There is nothing new
I could give to You
Just a life that’s torn
Waiting to be born

I Can’t Believe It.* The song I was listening to that week of January 4th 14 years ago when Jesus invaded my life.

Rivers overflow

Friends may come and go
But You’ve been by my side
With every tear I’ve cried
I don’t actually know the day Jesus grabbed ahold of my heart. It happened several times during the week of January 4th as I wrestled with the truth of who God says He is.
 
Oh, I can’t believe that You’d give everything for me
I can’t believe it, no, I can’t believe it, no, no
I know You never lied, and so it’s just my foolish pride

That I just won’t receive it,
It’s so hard to receive it in my heart 

And make the start with you

I just could not believe that someone would die for me. Who would do that? It doesn’t even make sense! But I desperately needed a fresh start. I was failing miserably at life, at relationships, at – well, most everything. I longed to believe that Jesus is who He says He is.

Help me, help me now
I just don’t know how
You know, I’ve been so alone
Please melt this heart of stone

There was no longer any question on that day in January of 1999 that I desperately needed Jesus.

I have a serious gap in pictures during that time, but here’s a gem from about 6 months later:

I still do need Him. There is nothing magical that happens at the moment of salvation (if you have a “moment,” yet it’s often a process) that makes us less reliant on God. If anything, I believe we become even more keenly aware, through the power of the Holy Spirit and our spiritual eyes being opened, that apart from Him, we really can do nothing.

Especially recently, I’m intimately and painfully aware of my weaknesses and failures and continual dependence on Him. I know the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:10, that when I am weak, I am strong in Him, but I don’t know if the power of that truth has been fully recognized in my soul, or embraced in my heart.

Yet when I shared with my dear husband why January 4th is significant, I got choked up. I know that I know that I know that Jesus has deeply transformed my heart and my life.  He continues to change me and set me free, one breath at a time.

And I continue to choose to trust Him. Trust that He is good, that He is my only hope. That He cares about me so deeply and passionately that His perfect will was for His only begotten Son to suffer, be crushed, punished, condemned, and to die so that I would not be punished or condemned, but may have peace and life till it overflows.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 (NLT)

Thank You, Jesus, for life. For breath. For a fresh start. For joy in my sadness, light in my darkness, truth in my confusion, peace in my anguish, sight in my blindness, hope in my desperation. For when I am weak, Your grace becomes sufficient, and then, I am strong.
 
Jesus, let’s go for at least 14 more!
*I much prefer this acoustic version of the song to the one that is typically played. It’s raw, it’s pure, it’s just Keith Green and his piano – how I like him best.

Freedom Friday, Tools for the Journey: Keep It Simple

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Years ago, I wrote this song.

Simple Girl
I am a simple girl
I live a simple life
I want to have a simple job
I want to be a simple wife

But I’m beginning to see that my life is not my own
And the path that I would take is not for me to choose
And all I want to be and all I’ve ever known
I’d give it all up for your sake; what do I have to lose?

My life would be nothing without You
My life was nothing before You
My life would be nothing apart from You
I can do nothing without You

© 2000 Unveiled Faces Music

I still want that simple life.

A picture of the sunset in Cape Cod

Yet I complicate things.

When reading these lyrics, I am reminded of a saying from 12-step programs, Keep It Simple.

How can we keep things simple when life seems overwhelmingly crazy?

1. Focus on what you know.
When trying to make a decision, I often think about all the unknowns and uncertainties.  It’s usually unhelpful and unproductive. 
It’s much more helpful to focus on what I know to be true.
Another saying I’ve taken away from my time in 12-step programs is, I can’t. God can. I think I’ll let God.

What a concept.

If God is really faithful, if He doesn’t jump off the throne at the first hint of an obstacle, then continually choosing to believe that He is who He says He is sounds like a much better plan than drowning in uncertainties.

Here’s what I know:
God is good.
He is loving.
He provides.
He stoops down to make me great.

That’s what I will focus on.

2. Stop analyzing, and keep praying.
I usually spend more time than healthy trying to make sense of things that may never make sense. I try to make decisions by weighing pros and cons, crunching numbers, and creating spreadsheets.
I try and figure out what seems good.
What appears good to us is often the enemy of God’s best.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

Then I remember: you have not because you ask not.

In Luke 18, we have this example of a persistent widow.  She continued to ask the judge for what she wanted until she got it.  In Matthew 7, God is described as a good father who does not give His children stones when they ask for bread.

Put your analysis on pause, and ask the God of the universe to lead you in His paths.

3. Choose to trust.
Friends, if you’ve been reading my blog for any period of time, you know this is one of my central themes.  If I say I believe the Word of God, which states that God is trustworthy, then I need to choose to trust Him.

Choose to trust Him in the way you think and the things you think about.

Choose to trust Him with what you say about yourself, your situation and your God.

Choose to trust Him with your actions and in the decisions you make.

God has our best at heart.  I need to remember that.
Keep it simple.

I am praying Romans 15:13 for you all this week:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Monday Morning Meditation: Redemption (Psalm 34 series)

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This is part 6 of the Monday Morning Meditation Psalm 34 series. This will be the final post of this series.

Here are verses 19-22.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

This section of the psalm begins with another declaration of God’s deliverance, but the context is a bit different when these four verses are looked at together.

Most scholars believe verse 20 is a prophesy concerning Jesus. John 19 describes how the two others being crucified with Jesus had their legs broken. “But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs.” Not one of Jesus’ bones was broken, in fulfillment of this prophesy. This is why it is more accurate to say during communion, as Jesus said, “This is my body given for you” (though most pastors say “broken for you”) because not one of Jesus’ bones was broken.

If we look at these 4 verses in the context of this verse speaking of Christ, it sheds a different light.

God will redeems those who follow Him and serve Him. The word translated “redeem” also means “ransom, rescue, deliver.” If we take refuge in Him, as we talked about earlier in the series, we will not be condemned, which also means “to be found guilty or take punishment.” We will not be punished because He has already taken the punishment for us.

Isaiah 53:4-6 (NIV1984) says,

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

God has ransomed us with His very Son’s life. Isaiah 53:10 says, “it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer.” God so loved us all that it was His will to suffer for us, so that we can find shelter and redemption in God the Father.

If we can see the big picture, despite this world’s troubles, we will be redeemed if we take refuge in Him.

In the end, we win because God wins.

Redemption.

I’ll end this series with the words of Jesus from John 16:33:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Freedom Friday: The Power of the Cross

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This the pow’r of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath
We stand forgiven at the cross

 
I sang this song the other night at a gathering. Since then, I’ve been asking myself: what is the power of the cross?

Here are a few thoughts as we celebrate and mourn on this Good Friday.

The power of the cross is:

1. Surrender
The power of the cross is Jesus’ perfect picture of surrender.

Here are some excerpts of Matthew 26:38-46, as Jesus wrestles with the path before Him.

38 Then he said to [Peter, James and John], “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
***
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
***
44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
***
46 “Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

After praying those three times, Jesus gets up to meet His fate. He chooses to trust God, and surrenders to the very reason and purpose God sent Him to earth.

Isaiah 53:10 states “Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.” NIV1984

God’s will to crush Him? To cause Him to suffer?

Yes. Sometimes, suffering is God’s will, and this was true for Jesus. So that we could be reconcile to God and reconnected to our power source.

And Jesus surrendered to that will.

“Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:8 (NASB)

True surrender requires complete submission to whatever God has for us. We can’t hold certain things too tightly and try & live in a state of surrender to God. He wants it all.

True surrender is yielding oneself completely to God’s power and control. It’s saying, “God, You created me, You have a plan for me, and You alone know what’s best for me. Have Your way in my life.”

Oh to see the dawn of the darkest day
Christ on the road to Calvary
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten then
Nailed to a cross of wood

 
It’s a declaration of God’s faithfulness and trustworthiness. The power of the cross thus is Jesus’ example and demonstration of perfect surrender.

2. Forgiveness
The power of the cross is total, finished forgiveness.

Jesus said to His disciples at the Last Supper about the cup he offered to them: “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Matthew 26:28 (NIV1984)

Colossians 2:13 (NLT) states, “You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins.” I’ve always loved the way the NASB puts verse 14: “having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

Our certificate of debt was nailed to the cross! It has been forgiven, once and for all. We have been forgiven, and thus we can forgive.

In the New Testament, the most common word translated as “forgiveness” means, literally, to release, to hurl away, to free yourself.

I’ve heard it said that forgiveness is like releasing someone from prison, only to realize the person in prison was you. Unforgiveness can keep us locked in a cell of resentment, pain and bitterness.

Forgiveness is a complicated topic in some ways. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that we reconcile and continue a relationship with the person who needs to be forgiven; that’s not always a healthy choice. Forgiveness simply means we extend to that person the love of Christ by no longer holding their sins against them in our hearts.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 (NIV1984)

Oh to see the pain written on Your face
Bearing the awesome weight of sin
Ev’ry bitter thought, ev’ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow

 
The power of the cross is undeserved, complete forgiveness.

3. Victory
Finally, the power of the cross is ultimate victory.

Now the daylight flees, now the ground beneath
Quakes as its maker bows His head
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life
Finished the vict’ry cry

 
After the apostle Paul talked about our certificate of debt being nailed to the cross, he said this in verse 15: “In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross” (emphasis mine).

Life can sometimes feel like one defeat after another. We seem to hit obstacle after obstacle, trial after trial. The power of the cross is the reminder that in the end, God always wins.

Jesus said, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)

“The prince of this world now stands condemned.” John 16:11b

Ultimately, the power of the cross is the power to defeat sin and death. It’s a declaration that God wins every time. It’s a symbolic representation of what God is able to accomplish.

The empty cross declares – is anything too big for God?

Oh to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suff’ring I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

 
“For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” Colossians 1:13-14 (NLT)

Jesus purchased our freedom. He won our victory. He bought our forgiveness. And He perfected surrender.

Have you embraced the power of the cross?

This the pow’r of the cross
Son of God slain for us
What a love, what a cost
We stand forgiven at the cross

 
All songs lyrics are quoted from “The Power Of The Cross” by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend, © 2005 Thankyou Music

Note: It may seem strange to have a decorative cross as the image for this post. Personally, I struggle with the images we have created, of what we think the cross may have looked like. Since this cross was made and given to me this week by a dear friend, I decided it was just as appropriate as the images generally used.

Freedom Friday: Battling Fear

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I’m battling fear today.
There are several scary situations I’m facing right now. My fears are random and widespread. Most are founded; some are unfounded.
For most of my life, fear dictated my choices and what I did & didn’t do. Fear of rejection & abandonment. Fear that I wasn’t good enough and would never be. Fear that I wasn’t lovable. Fear that I would not have the strength to make it through the challenges I was facing.
Fear paralyzed me.
Fear could easily rule my life, if I allowed it to. Today is a good reminder of that.

My husband told me I needed to write Freedom Friday about fear. So here I am, writing these reminders mostly to myself. I hope they are helpful to you as well.
Once you recognize that fear is affecting you, here are some ways to address it.
1. Name your fears.
Write down what you are afraid of, and, if you can pinpoint it, why you battle those fears. I blogged before about fear of the unknown. It goes hand in hand with fear of discomfort, fear of new suffering. A common one I’ve been addressing lately is fear of failure; another is fear of success. I actually believe they go hand in hand. Fear of failure is often rooted in self-image issues. Not only are we afraid we are worthless, we are also afraid we are full of worth. We are afraid to shine, to walk in freedom, to live out our amazing.
Name your fears. Don’t be shy. Journal about them or just speak them out to God in prayer. Lay them at the cross, and then….
2. Address your fears with Scripture.
Fear can have an enormously crippling effect on our journey toward living in the fullness of all God created us to be.
Fear is not something to be ashamed of. People make mistakes. It’s part of being human. Jesus knew we’d be afraid. God knew fear was a part of life; that’s why He continually reminds us in His Word to not fear, but rather rely on His strength and trust in Him.
Search the Word for Scriptures about not being afraid. Find God’s direction about walking in His strength, about having courage and finding hope. Read them aloud and ask God to make the words come alive, that they would ring true in your heart & life. Remember that God is a God of peace:

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

3. Choose to trust.
Give your fears to God. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego chose to trust God when Nebuchadnezzar was going to throw them into the fiery furnace. Their response is so challenging to me: “We do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”
Even if He doesn’t?
I blog a lot about trust. In one of my first posts, I shared about how I trusted God with the child who was growing inside me, and yet, that child died.
Even if He doesn’t.
Trusting God is not about “believing for” a sunny outcome. It’s a choice to trust that God’s perspective is far above mine, that He is good, that He is faithful, no matter what occurs.
4. Do it afraid.
Joyce Meyer says when we are too afraid to do something, we should “do it afraid.”
As I wrote this blog post, I thought of a story Steve Arterburn shared on his radio program, New Life Live. Early on in his career, he came up with what he thought was a fantastic idea for a conference. He felt God was in it. He booked a hotel, a ballroom, advertised, and waited. The event day came, and the turnout was pitifully small. By all perspectives, he had failed.
Then he had another idea for a conference. A rather strange idea coming from him, as it would be an all women’s conference. While he could have chosen to be paralyzed by fear because of his past failure, he rather decided to move forward, full-throttle. It would be called “Women of Faith.“
I imagine most of you have heard of it.
I read over on their site today that 388,000 women made first-time decisions to follow Jesus at a Women of Faith event. What would have happened if Steve Arterburn had let fear dictate his choices?
Do it afraid. Michael Hyatt says, “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to act in spite of your fear.” So I trudge forward; I do it afraid.
As I wrapped up the typing of this, God reminded me of His goodness. If He is really good, who am I to fear? If He is able to speak the world into existence, is anything too much for Him to handle?
What fears are you facing today? How can you, with God’s help and sustenance, press through them to go to the next level?
A note to readers: if you follow my Facebook page, you know that I will be starting a new blog series, in addition to Freedom Fridays, called Monday Morning Meditation. Look for it on Monday! And if you don’t follow me on Facebook, do consider it. I often post speaking engagements and other news there. You can also find me on Twitter.

Freedom Friday: When God Calls For Silence

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I had a conversation with a friend a month or so ago. It brought this thought to mind:
Maybe sometimes we need to be muted.I guess God was preparing me.
It’s a quiet time here. A thoughtful time. A prayerful place.God has called for silence.
I’m always sharing that healing happens in the context of community. This is still true. There’s certainly something very important about sharing life and struggles with others.

There is also a place for silence and solitude.

“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” Mark 1:35

“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” Luke 5:16

I have a deep sense of reverence these days. That I just want to get down on my knees and stay there. I did just that for a while today.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.” Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

This verse has been the pulse of my heart for this current season and prior.

Quietly, in other Bible translations of the above verse, is also translated “silent” or “still”, so I wanted to see what light the Hebrew word had to add to the passage.

Other possible meanings are:
to be struck dumb
to be silenced, be made silent, destroyed
to make quiet
to rest
to be still, die

Let me tell you – there is certainly a dying involved in the call to silence.

I’m a talker. In fact, I’m a loud talker. I’m also a loud laugher. People will often say to me, “Brenna, I knew you arrived because I heard you laugh.” Ask any of my good friends. They have likely said this to me.Silent? Reserved? Uh, not so much. Struck dumb? Never.Yet God is calling me to silent spaces.

There is a tearing apart, a preparation, a refining of sorts. An awe of the jealousy of God’s heart, that there are times when He asks me to pause, to be still before Him. To go straight to Him before anyone else.

A call to silence. A drawing into His heart.

Have you experienced this? What did you learn in that time?

Here’s a bit of what I’m learning in my process.

When God calls for silence
1. Pray
If we look at Jesus’ example, this seems obvious. But not necessarily natural. When God asks me to be quiet, my natural tendency is to pout! A call to silence is a call to prayer. It’s a call to seek. It’s a call to rest and trust. And ask. It’s not necessarily a call to ask for specific things you want for yourself (a new job, a new car, or a specific outcome), but rather a call to ask for openness, general direction and sovereign guidance.

2. Fast
I really wanted to leave this one out. Really. I paused. And then I added it.Fasting seems big and scary and – well – so pre-21st century.That’s exactly why you need to do it.In the Old Testament, fasting was often tied with repenting or seeking the Lord. Jesus talked in Matthew 6:16-17 about “when you fast”. Fasting is mentioned in the book of Acts as well.Fasting can mean a lot of things. It could mean skipping one meal for a time of prayer, or skipping a week’s worth of meals for a time of prayer. It could be a Daniel fast (traditionally 21 days of a vegetarian diet). It could mean giving up sweets or coffee for a week.

It doesn’t have to be about food. You can fast from TV, movies, or Facebook. The time that would normally be spent in food prep, eating, or sitting at a computer is now used for prayer and seeking the Lord.

Isaiah 58 is an excellent explanation of why & how to fast.

3. Wait.
Waiting is about slowing down. It’s about pausing. It’s a reminder that there’s more to life than jumping from one activity to the next. It can also be a place of preparation.

Oh, how I used to hate waiting.

I don’t love it now, but I’ve learned to, as David talks about in Psalm 5, wait in expectation. Waiting is not passive. But I believe the call for silence is more for a waiting as described in Psalm 130:

“My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.”

We watch and wait. Watch for the first sunshine of morning, or hope, to peer into our silence. We are being prepared.

4. Listen.
Something I said in that conversation back in December about being muted was this: maybe those times when we feel most alone, or during the calls to silence, are really the times when God wants us to reach out to Him. He wants to be heard by us. What a powerful thought.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” Jesus in John 10:27

“I will bless the LORD who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me.” Psalm 16:7

God’s voice often comes through His Word, or a sense in our spirit. Sometimes it’s just a gentle prompting in our hearts.
Ask for ears to hear. Wait, and listen.

5. Obey.
What you do hear, even what you think you hear, obey. Take a step. Pray about it first. Fast about it. Remember that God will not ask you to do something that goes against His Word. Ask 2-3 others to pray if it’s a particularly radical step. (Despite the call to silence, I do believe that asking for assistance and confirmation through the prayers of a few trusted friends is wise.) God will not punish you for trying to obey what you think is His prompting, even if you sometimes make a mistake.

6. Rejoice.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

Enjoy the process. Honestly, this call to silence is not a happy place for me. Neither is it exactly sad. It’s sort of a heavy place, a solemn, holy pause. At the same time, if I stop and wait, I can occasionally feel a little firework of joy going off in my heart. Since joy is often a choice, I will not choose sackcloth for this call to silence. I will choose to rejoice.If God is calling you to silence, there is much to learn and experience in this process.

Pray. Fast, Wait. Listen. Obey. And rejoice.