Category Archives: ministry

Final Day Conference Update

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I want to make sure to write my final conference update while it is semi-fresh in my mind. A Baptist pastor named Bob Perdue shared a very encouraging testimony. After the testimony, we sang some awesome worship songs, and the worship leader, Marianne Adams, encouraged us to come down front & dance. Guess who was one of the first ones down there? šŸ™‚ Me!

The enemy has been defeated
Death couldn’t hold you down
We’re gonna lift our voice in victory
Gonna make your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift your name up, we lift your name up

Amen!! I love that song! I danced so hard my calves hurt the next day šŸ™‚

Then Randy Thomas talked about his journey of healing as it related to singleness & celibacy. He quoted Revelation 3:5, 12-13:

5He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels.

12Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name. 13He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

I could write a bunch about what Randy said. He’s quite knowledgeable & wise & funny & I always enjoy hearing him speak. But he mainly just shared his journey šŸ™‚ I have to admit also that I had to leave early because we had to drive to Charlotte to catch our flight, but I ordered the DVD šŸ™‚

Over all, I personally walked away from the conference encouraged, as well as challenged & convicted about the importance of the work that we do. I attended the International Conference in the summers of 2004 & 2005, but had not been able to attend a national conference since January of 2006. With all the changes in my life & the challenges of trying to balance motherhood & ministry, I was feeling rather disconnected. There isn’t really a model that I have seen within the Exodus network of how to be a mom & a ministry director. Most ministry directors who have children are either men or women whose children are grown. I don’t know of any other directors who are trying to balance having a small child at home with working part-time, directing a ministry, while their husband works a full-time job in another field (as many couples do ministry together). So I definitely needed the encouragement of reconnecting with my ministry colleagues.

I was also encouraged because we brought the baby & worked it out so that I could attend the conference, and Roy could enjoy parts of it as well. Most of the other moms with small children who were attending left their kids at home, which isn’t possible for me as Bear is still breastfeeding. Plus, that’s a long time to be away from your kids! So I’ve wondered how, as we keep having more children (God-willing), will I be able to continue to do ministry. How will traveling work? Will the kids come? And I see that it can work – we just might want to bring a nanny as they get older so we can both attend the conference together šŸ™‚ Thankfully, the Bear had fallen asleep in the Bjorn, so Roy was able to hear me share my testimony.

I did order the DVD of the testimonies, as well as a copy of my workshop on CD. The final DVD’s will be mailed to me, so I’ll let you know how I feel it all turned out when I get a chance to watch & listen to them!

And now, Roy’s back to work & it’s back to the daily grind for me šŸ™‚

Testimony

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My testimony went well; it was well-received, and I got a lot of positive feedback.

Jimmy Evans of Marriage Today spoke after me about many good things, including “The Fig Leaf Conspiracy”, which he has written a book on.

A couple of his thought-provoking points:
The devil has corrupted our understanding of sex.
The devil left man alone until he got married. He uses our sexuality to pervert our relationships.

Get the book:)

I really wanted to goo to Randy’s workshop, but we needed to come back to the room for a quick diaper change & baby refuel. I sent one of my ministry friends in my place. My workshop is at 1:30. I’ll let you know how it goes later.

Coming Out

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I’m taking a short break from our preparations to share something that has been on my heart for a few days.

Some of you know me as friend, cousin, family member, singer, songwriter, worship leader, random blogger, crunchy treehugger, spinach-chugging cook, gentle hippie mom, food enthusiast, minister, encourager, pray-er.

What you may not know is that I am what some people refer to as “ex-gay”.

You may have figured this out long ago if you clicked on some of the links on my blog. Or maybe my recent posts about the upcoming conference gave it away.

The reason I’ve been hesitant to bring this up is – well, there are quite a few. But there are 2 main reasons.

1. This is not an “ex-gay” blog. My purpose for starting this blog was to talk about my life, which of course involves the ministry that I do & am very passionate about, but that’s not the only thing, or even the main thing, that I wanted to talk about.

2. I don’t like putting that out there as the 1st thing people know about me.

That may sound as if I’m ashamed of my past or my present. No, I’m not ashamed, though I wish sometimes that I had made different choices. The problem with sharing with people what I do for ministry is that they jump to conclusions based on it. I won’t dive too deep into that, but I am many things, and the fact that I was gay-identified for a decade is just one of many things that has shaped on some level who I am today.

I’m bringing this up now because I may be live-blogging from the conference. And I figured it was as good a time as any šŸ™‚

Really, I just want people to know me as Brenna Kate Simonds, not based on some label and the baggage it carries. I tell people when they ask about the ministry that I’m really just an average person. I don’t have an agenda; I just help people who want my help.

End of story šŸ™‚

If you didn’t know this about me and it bothers you on some level, I hope you will give me a chance. I really am just an ordinary person who serves an extraordinary God.

High Needs Babies & Flying

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I haven’t been as good about blogging lately for a couple reasons. First, I’ve been trying to prepare for Bear’s first plane ride. We’re going to North Carolina for the Exodus Freedom Conference in less than 3 weeks! 3 years ago when we went down there, we drove, so we were weighing the pros & cons of driving versus flying. Driving was appealing because I could bring my blender for green smoothies, as well as any food & supplies I might need. But that’s an awfully long time to be in a car with an infant, so we decided to fly. We’re taking a direct flight to Charlotte (only 2 hours), renting a car, and driving the 2 hours to get to Asheville.

The 2nd reason I haven’t been able to blog is that Bear has been extra needy lately. Bear is and has always been what one would call “High Needs”. I don’t like the terms “difficult” or “fussy”; he’s just who he is. He’s been like this from day 1, so I don’t believe it’s something we caused or cultivated.

I remember coming across Dr. Sears’ book “Fussy Baby Book: parenting your high-need child from birth to five”, when Bear was about 8 weeks old. It described him to a T. In some ways, it was really affirming, and in other ways, totally discouraging. I kept hoping it was just a phase that he would grow out of.

All babies are “high needs” in some sense – it’s just some need to sleep and some don’t as much, some need to suck and some don’t as much, some need to be held a lot and some don’t as much. He has food sensitivities as well as acid reflux, which adds to it. He’s doing better than when he was younger, definitely, but he still requires a lot of time and attention.

It’s easy to get frustrated when I’m trying to get something done, and Bear wants my attention. As Bear gets older, I’m realizing he has three distinct cries: his “I’m bored/pay attention to me” whine, which is more about wanting my attention vs. actually needing my attention, his “I need you” cry, where he really does need me NOW, and his “I’m terrified, come quickly” cry, which he’s only done when the dog barks too close to him or when the smoke alarm goes off (and we have a very sensitive smoke alarm!). When he’s just whining, I reassure him with my voice that I’ll be with him in a minute and quickly finish whatever I’m doing. It’s generally when I’m in the kitchen preparing his food or mine.

I’ve been struggling to practice acceptance. I have many things I’d like to do, and even things I really need to do. But I figure soon enough, Bear will outgrow his desire & need to sit in my lap & take a nap like he is now. Today, I can choose to fight against Bear’s needs, or I can accept him for who he is and cherish his babyhood. I think I’ll do the latter šŸ™‚

My Book, Smoothies, & Life

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I was inspired by one of my friends in Exodus who recently signed a book deal that I should be more consistent in working on my book. He said he was working on it for a year before he got picked up by a publisher. So yesterday morning, while Bear napped on my lap, I worked on my book. I already have a loose intro written, as well as an outline of about 18 chapters, some of which may eventually be cut, depending on the format I choose for the final version. I went through various talks I’ve given during my days doing campus ministry with Chi Alpha, as well as Exodus, & articles & devotionals I’ve written and pulled information from those, cutting & pasting them into the appropriate chapters. I ended up with over 50 pages of material! So that felt good to make all that progress šŸ™‚

I also just really enjoyed reading over some of my old talks & teachings. I really struggled with those early talks, whereas now I’m much more comfortable preaching & teaching. But even though I struggled with writing & giving them, some of them had important things to say – if I do say so myself.

Yesterday, I was out of spinach, but in an effort to maintain my green smoothie streak, I used broccoli & kale as my greens. Um, let’s just say I don’t recommend it, unless you have a more powerful blender than I do. It was so thick it took me several hours to drink it.

Following Your Passion

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Roy & I stayed home from church today because Bear has a fever and isn’t feeling well. And since we’ve been up since about 5 AM, I’ve been catching up on reading some library books that I have out. And since the Bear is snoozing on my lap, I thought I’d type a post on my new Asus šŸ™‚

2 books really have me thinking: “The Simple Living Guide” and to a lesser degree “Your Money or Your Life”. Janet Luhrs, author of “The Simple Living Guide”, discussing simplifying your life to the point where you can easily live within your means and still save money so that one day, you become financially independent. We are on track to be set to retire in 15-20 years if we continue to pay down our debt at our current rate and continue to earn about the same amount of money with annual raises.

This may surprise some of you, but I’ve always desired to live a simple life. Some of you probably just laughed out loud as you read that because you’ve been to our house and have seen all the stuff we’ve accumulated over the years. Yes, our hoarding tendencies still need to be worked on, for sure šŸ™‚ But ideally, I’d love to live in a small town where you go to the village store and the clerk knows you by name (yes, I have watched too much “Little House on the Prairie”). We’d live in a modest house, and I could have a large garden on lots of land with a stream nearby for Roy. Yes, I would miss the conveniences of city life (like being able to walk to the grocery store and not use any gas to get there!), but I think the pros would outweight the cons. And with all the technology we have available to us today, Roy & I could both work from home.

The question is what work would I do? Luhrs talks a lot about finding work you are passionate about. I’m passionate about a lot of things – ministry, music, healthy eating which does not mean “low-fat”, fyi), green smoothies, dogs, babies, recovery – the list could go on & on šŸ™‚ She talked specifically about how great it was to be able to work from home when her kids were small. Her job? Writing! As I read that, I was reminded of how, in recent years, I’ve really had a strong desire to write a book. I’ve never thought of myself as much of a writer before, but I recently had 3 articles published over at Boundless.org, and those were relatively well-received. There are a few different book ideas that I’ve tossed around, but there’s one specific idea that I feel strongly God put on my heart over 3 years ago. As I sat thinking about this, I actually had several ideas pop into my head, so I hopped over to my Asus & jotted them down.

So get ready, Eva! (She’ one of my best friends and has edited pretty much everything I’ve written since we met a few years ago.) It may take me 2 or 3 times as long to write a book, typing with one finger and a baby in my lap, but it’ll get done eventually!

Shameless plus – I have been reading some great books lately! Check out my Library Thing list below for some recommendations šŸ™‚

A quote from "Anonymous"

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“Seasonally, we too are stripped of visible fruit. Our giftings are hidden; our abilities are underestimated. When previous successes fade and current efforts falter, we can easily mistake our fruitlessness for failure.”

Anonymous, Alicia Britt Chole

This book was given to me by Chi Alpha Boston as a gift. I’m getting so much out of it that I thought I’d share it with you all šŸ™‚

Galatians

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If you hadn’t guess by my last post, I’m reading through Galatians in the Life Recovery Bible, which is a version of the New Living Translation. I’m getting a lot out of it šŸ™‚

“But oh, my dear children! I feel as if Iā€™m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives.” chapter 4, verse 19

How often I have felt this way in my life & relationships with other believers – the desire to see people grow into and walk in all God has for them. God calls us to freedom, but living out that freedom is both a daily decision and a process.

We’re Back :)

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We’re back from our jaunt all around New England & New York; actually, we’ve been back a week. My grandmother’s service was really nice. I managed to sing “Precious Lord” without choking up. My sister sang, a friend of Grammy’s sang, and my brother-in-law played Brahms, as well as several of Grammy’s compositions on the piano. We then went to the cemetary & had a few brief words there, as well as an a capella version of “Angel Band”, led by my dad. I got to see several of my mom’s siblings, so that was nice.

The next day, we then drove to Vermont to see my grandmother’s sister, who is almost 99. She is legally deaf & has been as long as I can remember. In order for her to hear you speaking, you basically need to speak very loudly & annunciate clearly. But when my brother-in-law played some of Grammy’s compositions on the piano, she seemed to be able to easily hear them & was even humming along.

We stayed overnight in a hotel & then saw my aunt again in the morning. We then headed 50 miles east to NH, to see my grandfather’s younger brother & his wife, as well as their son, his 2nd wife, & their son’s son. We went out to lunch & then went on our way back to Boston. Roy went & picked up Noodles that evening; he had been well cared for by the in-laws šŸ™‚

Bear did very well in the car. I was very proud of him. And it was great to see all my family.

Now I’m preparing to speak on Mother’s Day at my church. I’m quite excited about it.