Today hit me like a ton of bricks. All the feelings I’ve been eating to avoid finally caught up with me. Feelings about unresolved situations – one in particular that’s really important and very broken. I have no idea how to fix it, but leaving it “not fixed” is not an option.
I woke up with this realization about the above situation/all the feelings, and it’s been weighing me down since. It started raining on my morning walk, and I wasn’t very close to home. I thought of the song “Sweet Rain” that I mentioned several weeks ago in a “Coffee with Brenna” video.
Sweet rain of Your mercy
I felt as if maybe God was crying and grieving with me, recognizing that it wasn’t supposed to be this hard. If it’s hard for you to believe God could be like that, remember that Jesus wept (not the “shed one tear” but “grieved deeply and intensely” kind of crying) at the tomb of Lazarus, DESPITE knowing in moments, He would raise Lazarus from the dead.
I was listening to worship music before beginning to type this, and just now, Set a Fire came on.
No place I would rather be
No place I would rather be
No place I would rather be
Than here in Your love, here in Your love
So set a fire down in my soul
That I can’t contain, that I can’t control
I want more of You, God
I want more of You, God
That’s my cry. Between all the feelings and the headache I’m fighting, I really want more of food.
I want more of food, God!! Help me choose You! I’m choosing to be here in Your love rather than sticking my head in fridge.
Bible Reading: 2 John, 3 John
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check